Hey Match.com guy--can you join Myspace?
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 07:29PM I'll admit it. Now that I'm single, I've perused Match.com a couple of times, but have never come across anything that peaked my interest. Today, that all changed. I happened to land on a profile of a worldly, Ivy league cutie, who reads The Economist and has a Zen center. The thing is--I refuse to become a member.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being on a dating website [I know plenty of people happy as a result of them], but I just feel like Facebook and Myspace should somehow be enough. I know that both are meant to be used as platonic networking sites. I've been a Myspacer/Facebooker for years now, and have used both for that purpose successfully. The thing is, if someone who was a potentially good fit was even on those sites, would I approach them? Probably not, as I am kinda old fashioned with the dating scene. What happens when you see a hot person who lives within 25 miles, likes the great outdoors, exceeds your height requirement [6 ft...wowza!]--but is on a dating site? After all, Match.com's tagline is "It's okay to look."
Maybe I should not have looked to begin with...perhaps it's not really "okay." I suppose it's a community just like the other sites and there is always a catch. You always have to join as well; Reciprocate with your profile on the site. I think the idea of being linked to a dating site is also something that isn't quite accepted in social circles yet. The funny thing is that I have a number of friends who are members, to whom I have sworn secrecy to never tell. Plus, it's always so random when you see someone you actually know on the dating site of your choice. Their profile with their likes and dislikes in poetic prose--you can't help but smile and feel a tad bit of an "aww...how sadly dorky."
On the other hand, I don't appreciate the numerous pokes or messages on Facebook/Myspace from people I don't know. Appreciation is nice, and a SuperPoke can be humorous, but some of the "I love you" messages are pretty lame. I mean, even if I found a hot guy on either of those sites, I would try to use a little more tact. In any case, someone on a non-dating site seems far more attainable than someone who's on Match or any of the others.
For now, I am sticking with the real world and taking my chances out of the online dating sphere. I don't think I have given up on human interaction just yet. I mean there has to be someone out there who can be awesome in real life. Plus, this cute guy does work in SF...maybe I'll run into him on one of his bike rides through the financial district! Wish me luck ;)
- Signing off, your very own techy Carrie Bradshaw [Thanks friends, for giving me the nickname!]
Reader Comments (13)
Don't do it, don't do it. ;)
Real life is soooooo much more predictable, and even then.....
can i be miranda? except cuter.
Nice post Neha.
I think you made the right choice here - you have no special problem with "human interaction" and you're not yet desperate - you should not be ! (hey, i don't mean that dating sites are for desperate people ! I know a lot of great people who are using it to boost their chance to find the "right fish"). So stick to real life... :-)
PS : why nobody pokes me with "I luv you" messages ? I'm jealous :-)
The early bird gets the worm. Normal people use dating sites now, so I would go for it.
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which way are ya hoping to catch your "jogging ivy league" sweety?
Match.com hates me! I am yet to have any luck with it. I wish Google would make good on their April Fools dating website - after all dating is just another search problem.
I don't want to fill out a profile, I want Google to use my search history (etc...) and find me the girl of my dreams...
Google knows what I want...
I don't really do social networking sites (I'm 29 and didn't really "grow up" with it...). I used to be on match.com, but it just didn't work for me and I have gotten on ethnic/culture niche dating sites and have had success even though I'm a not a very serious member...sometimes I'll only pay the membership if I get a "I want to meet you" from an intriguing member.
For me and others who may be kinda fuddy-duddy-like/shy about dating, the dating websites are a ...gateway to just freakin' getting out in the great wide physical world and meeting people. I can definitely mingle pretty well, but it takes a little prodding from myself or friends.
Personal lessons learned:
>long distance dating is emotionally complicated
>from start of contact to e-mail, chat, chat w/webcam, and/or face-to-face meeting shouldn't take more than 14days or 4-5 contacts. ...I think it's just a rule of thumb, there's exceptions of course but if there is really some chemistry it should show by that time.
>having some sarcasm or funny story the first time you chat/talk to the other helps to cut the initial nervousness or pretentiousness
I've recently gotten on Okcupid and really enjoy it - the tests on their are fun and some are really insightful and the site seems to draw people that are pretty unique. I totally recommend it just for the fun personality tests and there's some social networking there as well. Fun! :)
Best,
Shalin
You're cute!
Complex dating world, I try not to think about it. Special someone should come to you, so just live your life to the fullest.
I believe dating sites are also a great tool to meet friends only. Whenever you have an specific interest, search for that keyword and you will probably make a friend forever!
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