Becoming Mary Jane
Friday, April 4, 2008 at 11:01AM When I was a child, I loved playing with Barbie dolls. With their long-legged-scissor-like movements, luxurious hair, and 200-watt smile, they were ideal. Well, except for one thing: Why did Barbie ever like Ken?
Ken was not my type of guy. I appreciated that he took life with a smile, despite his anatomy, which is commendable. He also seemed stagnant, cheesy, and unrealistic. I knew even at that young age, men like Ken were the most impossible in the world.
As I grew older, I became increasingly interested in comic books. My older brother would let me tag along to comic book conventions where I would buy Catwoman, Batman and more. When I read about Batman, he looked a little like Ken, but was different. He had the good looks, suave mannerisms, a comfortable life, and as an added bonus, was smart and resourceful. Although I thought boys had cooties around that time, I knew men similar to Bruce Wayne were a-okay, but still not so tangible.
Then, as a teenager I discovered Marvel's Amazing Spiderman. Here was a guy who had the weight of the world on his shoulders, geeky glasses, and no girlfriend. Not only did I relate to Peter Parker's problems, but he slowly became the apple of my eye. This was the type of guy I wanted, and he wasn't that bad looking either [geek chic anyone?]. Sure, he didn't have it all together like Batman, and certainly didn't take life with a smile like Ken, but he was full of life. Peter Parker was real, imperfect, and completely irresistible.
I know that for many guys, they look up to those I mentioned as archetypes of what women want. The truth is, flaws are attractive. From Ken to Bruce to Peter, there is a commonality: A positive attitude. Regardless of the whole womens movement thing, ladies still want a guy who they can lean on. Someone who has real issues and can handle them with conviction.
As for me, I am still trying to learn from Barbie, Catwoman, and Mary Jane--the ladies who to some extent got these different types of men. Sure, they all look picture perfect, but I believe there is more to them than that. Now, who wants to brush my hair and take me to kick boxing?
Reader Comments (7)
Great post! Just make sure you try to learn from Mary Jane and NOT Kirsten Dunst. Promise?
Interesting insight into the kind of man to which you're attracted. I think a lot of people fall into the basic rules of attraction: a man wants to most attractive woman he can get and a woman wants a man who can provide her with the most security. That is why you see wealthy (but not very good looking) men with beautiful wives and you see beautiful (but with not much else to them) women with wealthy husbands.
Your post shows that people can change these rules. You seem to want security (hence, someone you can lean on), but you want some flaws here and there so that your man can truly relate to your problems. And you definitely appear to want to offer your man more than a cute girl to hang on his arm.
I think that's the right attitude because it's hard for a man to truly love a Barbie Doll, just like it's hard for a woman to truly love a bank account.
You are wise beyond your years. Well said.
That was a cool post!
I like the way you nicely diced it down to reality!!
Good flow!!
May I brush your hear? Oh, and I don't like kick boxing...
Testing new comments :)
Flaws are attractive. That's something I wish I'd heard years ago. I've spent a long time wrestling with my flaws, and it's only been recently that I've started to build a more constructive attitude about myself, and learned that I don't have to be debilitated by being human.
And this facet of clarity from the mind of someone I respect so highly puts it in exactly the right light.